Getting back to work after a sooo relaxing holiday was too rough.  My mind could not stand it so the body reacted and now I'm home trying to get some sleep to get my strengths back.  Funny how you think that you can stand anything, keep yourself together just by your will.  And when the snowball starts rolling you realise that there's nothing you can do.  Luckily I had a friend who realised this and said the right words and got me to do something.  I'm quite exhausted right now.

Last night we had the book club around Carolyne Myss' thoughts.  It might have been the first step in my recovery path.  At least it made me realise how deep I got in my wrong thoughts, assumptions.  About being strong, capable for anything, able to deal with whatever.   Well I'm not.  If I have no control on what's happening around me.  No way to have a say on anything.  And last that I don't even care.

I need a new path.

For the time being best way to reach me is e-mail at the address here in the upper left corner "Ota yhteyttä" and mobile of course.